Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
