Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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