I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize