i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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