You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
