Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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