Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
