Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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