Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
