My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
