Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize