Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
