Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
