Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
