wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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