just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
As shirtless as possible
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
