The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
