A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
