I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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