so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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