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• (312): View more from Illinois

  i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.

  (512): View more from Texas

  You. Win. At. Life.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.

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• (325): View more from Texas

  Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking

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• (716): View more from New York

  Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...

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