I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize