i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
