The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
