you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
