So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
