Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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