I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
