Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
