Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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