No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize