Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
