oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
time to smoke my breakfast
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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