why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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