Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize