There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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