i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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