Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
