I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
