i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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