Buhtt sex?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
