drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize