Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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