bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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