sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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