This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
