Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize