he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
