They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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