Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
