she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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