I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
