Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
