I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
