Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
