So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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