i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
