nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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