I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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