He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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