woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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