woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize