They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
