DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
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Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
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I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize